Twice the dumbass
16 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
This is the tale of how much of dumby (note the usage of the word “dumby”) I am, and how my dumb-ness effects my life.
Once upon time, your little knitter was hanging out with a friend whom she taught how to knit over the winter.
KelsKels had just set her friend up knitting a scarf with the same pattern that KelsKels did a few weeks ago with the pretty wool. The finished product looked like this:
(Made from Pretty Wool; read back a few posts, the yarn is Araucania %100 Super Fine Alpaca.)
KelsKels’s friend liked the pattern, and was chugging along quite nicely on her scarf while KelsKels knit on the Mystery Top and they watched DVR-ed episodes of Family Guy. Carefully measuring, KelsKels was determined to get to the shaping decreases before the night was over. Impatient, and feeling as if she were falling dangerously close to the Black Hole of Knitting (where you knitknitknit for hours long, and the piece gets NO BIGGER), KelsKels decided to consult the pattern again. Much to her dismay, KelsKels determined that she must’ve been reading the pattern wrong, and that the shaping decreases (though they are “optional” AKA another huge HINT) were supposed to be happening WHILE she added several inches of stockinette stitch to the body.
Disapointed by her boo-boo, KelsKels quickly tried on the garment to see how it would fit.
Sadly, she realized that it was going to be too large, and that she was right, the decreases should’ve been happening while she was doing row after row of mindless knit stitch. Dejected, KelsKels ripped back the three rows of stockinette stitch and began to work them again, adding the shaping decreases this time.
With things looking to be all sorted out, the friend departed for home, leaving KelsKels to ponder her error with the pattern. However, she was still confused, so she decided to consult the pattern again after completely one row of the decreases. After carefully reading and rereading the pattern, the lightbulb finally came on. There was no “at the same time” written next to the optional shaping, or “simultaneously”, was there? NO! Therefore, one would logically assume that while the directions are not 100% totally clear on this, the several rows of stockinette stitch are to be completed, THEN the shaping, THEN the rest of the body, as the pattern states.
And as this idea came to her, all hell broke lose.
Utter confusion, denial, anger, and frustration overcame KelsKels, and she threw herself back onto her bed, wondering what the right course of action was.
A) She should just follow the pattern, rip back the row of decreases she did, knit the stockinette, do the decreases in the right spot, and then continue with the body. The pattern is the pattern, and the pattern is LAW!
B) There’s no denying the lose-fitting quality of the sweater when it was tried on. Therefore, maybe these decreases are a good thing to start early? However, visualization of knitting goods is obviously not KelsKels’s strong suit (see confusion on sleeves), and perhaps the decreases will make the bust TOO tight, and it’s better left to the pattern expert, who actually knows how to knit.
C) Ball the whole thing up, shove it between the TV and the wall and buy some sock yarn.
